Updated: Aug 2, 2020
Ok …here we go again. I had some left over pumpkins left over from Halloween decorations…so…I said “Lets make suttum wit’m” (though the not so kitchen friendly can use canned pumpkin just use the plain pumpkin not the pre-spiced kind, two cans or 1 1/2 to 1 3/4 cups worth)…so, take one medium to small (or what ever darn size ya want) and clean all the crap out of it.
Spray up a sheet of foil or parchment (I like foil here, parchment later) and place them cut face down and bake’m in the smoker or oven (you know where mine was) at 350 for 45 to 60 minutes until they look all screwed up and soft, you’ll know when ya see’m and touch’m
once they are all screwy and fork tender take’m out and let them cool then scrape all the meat out of’m
Getcha some cheese cloth (unless your using canned stuff) and ball it up in it
Squeeze’m til ya get most of the juice out, they have some just use your own judgement
Once ya squeezed it all get one cup full and set aside for the cake batter and the other 1/2 to 3/4 cup left is for the cream cheese.
Take a cup of pecans (or what ever damn nuts you want…and no, not those nuts either) and bake’m at 350 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes until they brown a bit and ya can smell’m
Now, take the mixer and throw in one 8oz brick of REAL cream cheese, not the pussy low fat crap, 3/4 teaspoon of pumpkin spice (ground cloves, ground ginger, cinnamon) and that 3/4 cup of pumpkin that was left in the bowl
add a 1/4 cup brown sugar
mix well and hard…should be a bit “fluffy”…
Back to the nuts, now that they are all toasty…chop’m up good so they are still chunky
add them to the mix and just fold them in…no need to mix’m
now take 4 eggs at room temp (easier to fluff up), one cup of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla and whip it on high for about 3 to 4 minutes until sort of thick and a bit fluffy like (it should be like a cross between thick pancake batter and pudding almost), now the dry stuff, add one cup flour, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon baking soda and add the cup of pumpkin and 1 1/2 teaspoons of the same pumpkin spice mix and mix to just mix it in so you don’t lose your “fluffy”
Once mixed in good take a 12″ X 18″ (or close, you’ll need two of them for this unless you think you can flip it without screwing it up…it comes out very moist and fragile…trust me on the two pans thing) and either spray the entire pan good…sides and all or butter the crap out of it and line it with parchment paper making sure to get the paper down tight in the corners and edges so its even all around, spray the top of the paper with the kind of spray that has the flour in it liberally (ya, odd word for me I know) or butter it and flour it but shake the excess flour out and pour all the batter in
Spread it with one of these things…or one of those cake slice things or just use a damn big spoon…just make sure its even and when yer done grab it by the sides and SLAP it down a couple times to make sure its even
Throw the bitch in the oven (yes, over, careful with this one) at 375 degrees for about 15 minutes until its golden and if ya touch your finger onto the top and lift it puffs back up
This is whatcha should have
Now the fun part, take confectionery sugar and sift it on top, some idiots do this to the towel then flip it on the towel which is the makings for a disaster, not me…this is WAY easier
Once sugared like this grab a clean kitchen towel.
Place it on top of the sugared cake evenly
this is where the other pan comes in, I’ve seen those TV wanna-be cooks flip it out onto the sugared towel (stupid idea), and roll it in the towel to cool and fill it later…every one i saw do it split the hell out of them when they unrolled them to fill them… so i like this way…its not just easier…its quicker too…Put the pan right on top, tuck the towel under the bottom pan and flip the bitch using both pans…you’ll see
See, all those TV peeps want you to stress with it but my way is KILLER, now that its flipped, hopefully you greased the hell out of this piggy so you can just slowly lift the pan, the paper should come up with the pan like so
Now sugar this side of the cake thoroughly as you did the other
Another thing the TV chicks don’t do is add the filling while the cake still warm…”it’s cream cheese and warm spreads easier…DUH…take the cream cheese mix, hopefully you didn’t chill it or have it in a cooler room than normal if so you can just nuke it 15 seconds, fold it in a few times and 15 seconds more and stir again and your fine…you can nuke it anyway as it just makes spreading it easier and its so quick it doesn’t melt…just softens
Spread it very evenly on top…yes it will fit, you wont think so and you’ll have to work it a bit to totally cover the top with a even thin layer…like so…HA
Now take the towel on the longer side and start rolling the bitch up. If you want it fatter roll from the other side (that’s the this side) it’ll be taller/fatter.
once in a nice tidy firm log (that doesn’t sound good) curl the sides under
place it back on the pan and chill for at LEAST an hour or over night…it’s fine
And thats what ya get…yes, it will have some small splits in it from moving it around but not NEARLY as much as those TV bitches have…hahaha
now sprinkle a bit of Cocoa on it
and add a little more sugar
“THIS”…is sooooo inceredibly freaking awesome…you have nooooo idea…just wait til you taste it…yes, my original recipe…I always look at different recipes to get ideas and take like 4 or 5 and mix them my way…BAD ASS…